Take Me Away...

The one in which coincidence steps in...

2005-11-15T21:58:00.000-08:00

Set your iTunes to Shuffle. Use each song that comes up, in order, to answer the following questions...

Question: What do you think of me, iTunes?
Answer: Nothing As It Seems (Pearl Jam)
Oddly enough, appropriate.

Question: Will I have a happy life?
Answer: Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (Bob Dylan)
Now that’s reassuring.

Question: What do my friends really think of me?
Answer: Breaking the Girl (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Ouch.

Question: Do people secretly lust after me?
Answer: Somebody (Blue October)
Who? Tell me now.

Question: What should I do with my life?
Answer: Romeo and Juliet (Edwin McCain)
Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

Question: Why must life be so full of pain?
Answer: Paralyzed (Elvis Presley)
Huh, maybe?

Question: How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Answer: I’ll Make Love to You (Boyz II Men)
Alright then. Bring it on!

Question: Will I ever have children?
Answer: White Trash Wedding (Dixie Chicks)
So I’ll be having them during the ceremony…?

Question: Will I die happy?
Answer: Easy Money (Todd Snider)
I’m gonna take that as a yes.

Question: Can you give me some advice?
Answer: When You Get to Me (Lee Ann Womack)
I’m at you right now.

Question: What do you think happiness is?
Answer: The Letter (Shooter Jennings)
Okay, I can get behind that.

Question: What's my favorite fetish?
Answer: Hang (Matchbox 20)
A little on the dangerous side I’d think.

Question: Am I complete freak?
Answer: Desperately (Bruce Robison)
Wow. That’s just too good.

The one in which I almost squeal...

2005-11-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

I am now the proud owner of a brand-spankin' new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory DVD. I love this movie. Or maybe saying I love Johnny Depp in this movie would be more accurate. I could just sit there and listen to him talk all day long. Plus, the way he says 'little girl' reminds me of my niece.

Ha. I'm totally a nerd.

The one in which I just am...

2005-11-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

Wedding Vows

His name is Jack Ingram, and he plays country music

BY ANDY LANGER

Midway through virtually every live performance, Jack Ingram finds an appropriate instrumental break and dives headlong into a loosely scripted piece of stage banter:

"When you go to work tomorrow, people are going to ask where you went tonight. I want you to tell them you came here and saw a guy named Jack Ingram."

"With any luck, there's a lot of applause right there," notes Ingram, running through the rap for a tape recorder over coffee at Central Market.

"Then they're going to ask you what kind of music I play. You tell them that I play country music. And when they tell you – and they will – that they're glad they didn't go because they hate country music, you tell them they haven't seen Jack Ingram's country music. I am Jack Ingram, and I play country music. It's not that kind of country music. It's this kind of country music."

"Then, just for impact, I bring it around again," motions Ingram, setting up a two-line mantra that's singularly aggressive and defensive.

"My name is Jack Ingram. I play country music."

Good article.

now playing: Fastest Way to Texas - Drew Womack

The one in which excitement takes over...

2005-10-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

I am so EXCITED to see basketball back on television. My reason for not having a life has finally returned. It doesn't get any better than this.

playing: California Stars - Billy Bragg & Wilco

The one in which MLB's commissioner is laughed at...

2005-10-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

Roof expected to be open for Game 3

HOUSTON -- Mankind's desire for shelter goes back to the days of the cave men. But Major League Baseball is sending signals it thinks the Houston Astros' desire for a roof over their heads has gone a little too far.

So commissioner Bud Selig is expected to decide personally that the roof of Minute Maid Park should be open for Game 3 of the World Series on Tuesday night.

Don't you think Selig has bigger fish to fry then whether a roof is opened or closed? Yeah, me too.

On that note, Go Astros! I'm not really a fan... but I am a Texan.

The one in which I mention the WWE...

2005-10-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

I should really find something more productive to do on Monday evenings, instead of watching wrestling and eating Kit Kats. Especially since the WWE is so pathetically pathetic. I'll be honest I was a devoted fan of the WWF in the nineties, but as I watch this now... I feel the need to apologize to myself for the torture I submitted myself to.

And since when do they cut to commercial break mid-match?

The one in which I cringe...

2005-10-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

Arkansas Mother Gives Birth to 16th Child
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she's already thinking about doing it again.

Johannah Faith Duggar was born at 6:30 a.m. Tuesday and weighed 7 pounds, 6.5 ounces.
*cringes* One: ouch. Two: oh my god. Three: shoot me!

Can you imagine attempting to name sixteen children, first and middle? Or remembering them all once you have?

ETA: HOLY SHIT! They all begin with 'J.' Wow. I'm impressed...

The one in which I reveal my true colors...

2005-10-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

Suns' sinking feeling: Stoudemire out four months

PHOENIX (AP) -- The Phoenix Suns will be without all-star forward Amare Stoudemire for about four months after he underwent surgery to repair damage to his injured left knee Tuesday.

It's wrong of me to be a wee bit glad about this... Well, maybe not glad per se, but perked up.

It's still wrong, but I still am. Especially since he was so hyped up last year, as were the Suns. And because he just signed a 5-year contract extension. And because Phoenix lost so many of their main pieces from last year.

And because I'm a bitter fan. I've accepted this.

The one in which I put clichés to good use...

2005-10-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes expecting baby

LOS ANGELES (REUTERS) - Movie star Tom Cruise and his fiancé, actress Katie Holmes, are expecting a baby together, a spokeswoman for the actor said on Wednesday.

I was under the impression that Tom Cruise didn't really play for the that team, swing that way, whatever you wanna call it. And I, like so many others I believe, didn't really want to see the day he reproduced.

Poor Katie Holmes, now she'll never get away.

playing: Knock Me Down - Jack Ingram

The one in which I contemplate Lucy...

2005-10-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

'I Love Lucy' is one of my favorite shows, and Lucille Ball was beautiful. But did anyone else find it funny that she never took her make-up off while pretending to be a guy? Dark lipstick, fake eyelashes, and all...

The one in which I 'meme'...

2005-10-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

10 Best Movies You've Seen Lately:
1) Million Dollar Baby
2) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
3) Remember the Titans
4) Wedding Crashers [well, the first half anyway]
5) Crash
6) Chicago
7) Miss Congeniality 2
8) Napoleon Dynamite
9) Happy, Texas
10) Mr. and Mrs. Smith
link: Ten on Tuesday

The one in which I discuss Jack...

2005-10-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

JACK TO BE FEATURED ON CMT OUTLAWS 11/5

Don't miss Jack Ingram live on CMT Outlaws, premiering Saturdat November 5. Toby Keith, Merle Haggard, Shelby Lynne, Billy Joe Shaver & Davd Allen Coe were all there. Jack plays a new song as well as duet with Toby. Check your local listings for details.

source: http://jackingram.net

What's up with him, why has he become all buddy-buddy with Toby Keith? A duet, a record deal, a concert... Surely it stops there. On another Jack-related note, 99.5 the Wolf is playing his new single "Wherever You Are." It's a nice song, a little cleaner than what you usually hear from Jack, which I'm not even going to touch. I prefer the acoustic version of the song anyway...

Wherever You Are (acoustic) - Jack Ingram - 2.69mb [download]

playing: I Shall be Released - Bob Dylan

The one in which I worry...

2005-09-21T20:37:00.000-07:00

Rita could be strongest storm to hit Texas
GALVESTON, Texas - Gaining strength with frightening speed, Hurricane Rita swirled toward the Gulf Coast a Category 5, 175-mph monster Wednesday as more than 1.3 million people in Texas and Louisiana were sent packing on orders from authorities who learned a bitter lesson from Katrina.

Please everyone cross your fingers, knock on wood, pray, do whatever you believe in...

playing: Feeling Good Again - Robert Earl Keen

The one in which I question my sanity...

2005-09-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

Thinking I could complete three courses of math in one year was nuts. I don't know what I was thinking. Algebra, algebra II, and geometry in a span of about nine months... ha. Shoot me. I've never even liked math. Maybe I'll just say screw it and crawl under a rock.

The one in which I don't care...

2005-09-19T15:35:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Aniston tells Oprah she's 'ready to date'

JENNIFER ANISTON helped OPRAH WINFREY kick off the 20th season of her daytime talk show Monday with a very revealing interview. After coming out and presenting Lady O. with a pair of champagne glasses and making a toast -- "to you and everything that you do" -- the glowing actress proved to be upbeat in light of the recent end of her marriage to BRAD PITT. "I'm doing so well," she exclaimed. "I'm not sitting, dwelling on the past."

You know, I watched this. Not because I cared about what she had to say. I do have a life of my own, of course. Kind of. But I watched... and she didn't say a damn thing. Nothing. I'm glad I didn't care.

I do, however, want to be Oprah. Just 'cause.

The one in which I say hello...

2005-09-18T17:06:00.000-07:00

Hello. First official blog. Big moment. Whoo!

playing: Georgia Hard - Robbie Fulks